Thoughts on being female and inequality

I'm an opinionated person. Talkative and opinionated. That's just who I am. Where this becomes complicated is when you add in my gender. I'm female. A woman.

I grew up in the 1960s and 1970s. Things were very much in flux, societally. My mom got a college degree and she worked and I don't think I fully realized that this wasn't the norm at the time, although things were transitioning more towards that being acceptable and common. When I was in high school, I was one of those "unique" individuals who floated from clique to clique, fitting in with jocks (I played sports), stoners (I took drafting), nerds, brainiacs (I was in a few more advanced classes), and, with racially diverse groups. So, it didn't really occur to me that there were things, or professions I couldn't do unless I wasn't SMART enough to do them or MOTIVATED enough to do them. I guess I was influenced by the televised views of bra-burning women and understood the point, but not maybe fully the circumstances, because I was already benefitting from their actions. And, the actions of many dedicated and strong women before them.

Both of my grandmothers were extremely smart, but not allowed by the circumstances of their times to achieve their full potential, although my fraternal grandmother did end up relatively highly placed in a branch bank. What a pity. Society doesn't really get what it's losing by shutting out half its talented potential workforce.

When I was in college, in the stone age, we had a career center which was dominated by racks of pamphlets with information on careers. To this day, I can clearly remember reading a pamphlet on being an accountant, which was what I was focusing on at the time. And, there it was. "If you are a woman, you might not want to enter into this profession, because it is male dominated." RIGHT IN THE PAMPHLET. I grabbed them, marched up to the front desk and tossed them down. "You might want to replace these, because this isn't correct and it ISN'T RIGHT." At the time, many of my accounting classes already had more women in them than men. But, the true point is, your gender in that profession makes ZERO DIFFERENCE in your ability to do the work, unless - and, here's the kicker, you are treated differently because of it.

When I graduated and got a job as an auditor, I encountered old men who called me honey (and worse). I stood up for myself and told them directly that it was inappropriate. I thought it was changing and improving. Being young and naive - I really thought, you know, it's great to live right now. Look at all the improvements. Things are looking up. Young women will be able to do jobs they want to do - if they are SMART enough and MOTIVATED enough. Well, today, nearly 40 years later, as hard as people have worked, I don't really have that feeling quite as much.

It's so important to raise young women to feel empowered. But, that can't be accomplished by just your family. It needs to be family, community, schools, businesses and the media. We clearly aren't there yet. Especially in the media. I have three sons, no daughters. When my kids were still in high school, it would annoy me to no end to see young women take what I considered to be the "fluffy" options, easier math, bowing out of "icky" science work, giggling over clothing, cheerleading. And, I would get mad over the manipulations of guys and the clothing choices. But, what's the role model they see? How many TV shows and movies have there been in the 80s and 90s and still today that emphasize the desirability of ditziness? Showing guys fawning over cute, but vacuous girls.

When I see this I INTERNALLY SCREAM "YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD WE WORKED TO MAKE IT SO YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY!"

My son was fortunate enough to get to take an independent studies class at a university where they were in a lab with a bunch of cool stuff to work with (including a 3-D printer). The university was studying how students learn when allowed to "graze." My son was deeply disappointed that the females in that class, with some exceptions, did not take it seriously at all. I wondered at why that was. I know personally that those young women were every bit as talented and competent as the young men. Why did they treat this opportunity that way?

Is it wrong to want to be cute? To wear make-up or suggestive clothing? No. Girls and women should be free to dress the way they want and to not be judged as a whole on that. But, I think the reality is that we ARE judged based on that. Sigh. I just don't know what the answer is. All I can say right now is, if you are a parent, you probably have the best opportunity to communicate with your daughters about this issue. Clearly tell them the need to really pay attention to the messages given to them and be strong enough (or, <wink> in my case maybe oblivious enough) to know that the limits don't have to apply. Be an advocate for yourself, and just maybe, you'll be advocating for those who follow.

What Makes a Show Worth Watching?

My husband and I had a rousing discussion about feelings provoked by USA Network's new show “Colony.” (When he figured out I was plying him for a blog entry, his comment: “Oh God, you’re sucking me dry!”)

The premise of Colony (based on the pilot) is that aliens have landed and are using humankind as a form of slave labor. There is a resistance and there are collaborators. I watched the pilot and what struck me about this is just how many of these shows there have been lately. Hubby and I discussed just a partial list of these type of shows and what makes them desirable to watch, rather than boring, trite and predictable. We decided that most of these stories can be categorized as extermination or assimilation tales. Here are thoughts on a few.

Colony – only the pilot episode of this has aired. Even so, it’s at risk of falling into a very trite storyline. I will say that by the end of the pilot, I did enjoy it (and wasn’t driven away by any one character or actor).  I like Peter Jacobson, in particular, because of his pragmatic sliminess. When polled about which side I would choose, I, of course, chose collaborator.

Syfy Network's Childhood’s End – this was unique in that the entities we originally assume are the overlords are actually subjugated creatures themselves. I found it personally fascinating to find that a creature deliberately shown as a satanic entity to evoke immediate feelings of hatred (Karellen) ended up being a rather sympathetic character itself. (That was really the only reason I watched the whole thing). One element that made this engaging was that we weren’t quite sure if this was an assimilation or an extermination story. Bravo, Arthur C. Clarke.

Syfy Network's Dominion – discussing Dominion really got us excited. Definitely an extermination storyline. We discussed the reluctant hero and the fact that perhaps season two was stronger because it wasn’t quite as focused on the reluctant hero. Rather, season two focused on a whole bunch of characters who were impacted by the reluctant hero, as well as the internal dynamics of surviving settlements.

TNT Network's Falling Skies – this was an extermination story. Hubby felt this one ended up being the same old story, so he found it boring. “Even though you come from the stars, you can’t seem to wipe us out. (rubs his chin) But, the big machine was really cool.”  I wasn’t engaged enough, so I didn’t continue watching.

ABC Network's "V" – amazingly, there have been several incarnations of this (in Lady Grantham’s terms “with numbing regularity”). It’s surprising to me that this has been remade since earlier versions have been panned. Reboots are risky because if you didn’t like the first (or the second) you’re definitely unwilling to go along for the ride. I think the acting in the later version was stronger, but ultimately – it ended up being stilted with a standard storyline and mostly mundane acting.

Fox Network's Alien Nation (although out of my current time period of shows) was actually great. This was reverse assimilation. I think it was fascinating because at the time, it was a very novel show and I loved the cast.  Part of the novelty was the concept of an alien race that wasn’t out to eliminate or subjugate, but rather to become one with the planet’s inhabitants. This was a story on multiple levels.

An honorable mention goes to a show which doesn’t quite fit the framework - Amazon Network's “Man in the High Castle.”  Leave it to Philip K. Dick to come up with a premise which is novel but not quite novel (there have been several stories involving alternate timelines, in which the Nazis are the victors). But, what’s unique in his story is that you really have trouble figuring out what the ultimate story is. Is this just an “alternate timeline” or are there multiple timelines that people can cross or is it just in one person’s head? THAT made it fascinating. That and really excellent Nazi uniforms! The acting was top notch, as well.

Do you have a favorite genre in the assimilation or extermination arena? What makes a show worth watching? For me, it’s a story with a unique twist that doesn’t take forever to get to, as well as terrific acting. Doesn’t take a name brand, but there should be talent. Great ensembles with chemistry help. I also enjoy shows which assume the audience is intelligent and can figure out what is going on.